hold it together, sweetheart.

It's been a rough week, and during the more bleak moments this week I've had a hard time controlling the "self talk." I was introduced to self talk a few years ago when I took part in my first Recapturing Beauty Challenge at BYU in 2010. To give you a context for this self-talk gone wild, let me give you a few examples of events that have gone on this week.

For the past few days it's been easy to look in the mirror and see the bags under my eyes from a long night of schoolwork, to give in to my survival instincts and to throw on my baggy sweatshirt and head cozy with my hair thrown in a messy bun right before running out the door.

My lunch today was composed of: pretzels and cookies. Yeah, that happened.

And to top it all off, I spent extra time on one paper this week at the expense of another paper. Only to find that the due date for paper #1 is in fact next week.

Basically, it just feels like I'm losing a lot of battles with myself lately, and just when I think I'm on top of it- the tears start to brim up as I start to repeat what seems like my new mantra these days: "Hold it together, sweetheart."

The thoughts that have begun to come in hearty doses are along the lines of "Bad hair day. I'm so tired. Why didn't I have this done three weeks ago? Why do I always say yes to everything?... and on and on and on..."

But in the middle of the craziness in the past few weeks, I came upon this gem: (bless you, pinterest).

And that's when I got to thinking... who is inspiring all of this junk running through my head? Yeah, my life is busy, no I'm not perfect. But am I truly doing as terrible as I've been convinced that I am this week?

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." -Mosiah 4:27

So at one point yesterday, I gave myself a little free pass. Granted, I had to go back into turbo mode about fifteen minutes later to accomplish everything that I needed to, but after a healthy timeout with the scriptures, and a good conversation with my Heavenly Father, things looked brighter.

These days of finals aren't going to last forever, and I'm sure there will be days ahead that I'll look back and wish this was my life again, but we have a loving Heavenly Father who knows how hard our circumstances can feel to us in the moment. He cheers us on, and is waiting with arms wide open to embrace us whenever we approach Him. Oppositely, the Adversary in a very real way works against this. But when we allow ourselves to take a 2.5% late penalty on a paper in the name of sanity or walk around campus rocking that frumpy Valley Forge sweatshirt (let's hear it for the Lindsay days), and trust more in the love of the Savior than the sometimes impossible expectations we set for ourselves- that is when we get to step back and remember who it is we actually are. And we know this, because He reminds us, and He never lets us forget it when we tune our hearts to Him.