Friends Wanted

I bet I know what you're thinking. Desperate. But hold on a minute. EVERYBODY is looking for more friends. Even if they don't know it. Whether you are married or single, busy or bored, find a moment to introduce yourself to somebody you don't know today. Ask them questions that will allow you to learn about them. No, not the stupid questions like what color is your toothbrush. Actual questions like, "Tell me about your family" or "What do you like to do with your free time?"

Then, here's the kicker... actually LISTEN TO THEIR RESPONSE.

Or maybe it's somebody that you've known for a really long time, but have taken for granted lately. Do you actually know how they are doing and what's going on in their lives? Do you get busy on your laptop while talking to them, or frequently tell them, "It's not a good time?"

Maybe it's someone who looks like they have enough friends, or like they have it all together. Say hi to them anyway. Maybe they are the ones holding everybody else together, and they need someone to worry about them for a second. 

In one of my favorite books of all time, Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom learns how to really listen to and care about people from his mentor Morrie, who is dying of ALS.

"When Morrie was with you, he was really with you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world. How much better would people get along if their first encounter each day were like this—instead of a grumble from a waitress or a bus driver or a boss?"

Which brings me to my next point: Metta. 

Not this  Metta:

but the metta we've been talking about in my yoga class that means loving someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. 

Although, it looks like this Metta could use a little lovin':

Ultimately, we hope that our relationships will be mutually fulfilling and that people will care about us just as much as we care about them. And that is the way that it should be. 

But I wonder if we worked on loving our families, friends, and those we hold grudges against with this kind of love if we'd start to love ourselves a little more. Not in the way that we allow ourselves to get hurt forever in unhealthy relationships. There's a difference, by the way. But in the way that we start feeling more concerned about the people around us, than about the petty concerns and problems that we allow to take up so much of our time. 

It'll take time, but it might just be worth it-- to you and to the people you touch.